You typed this address on purpose. You came here for news. Here is the news: there is no news. Below is a complete, continuously monitored breakdown of exactly how alive Nikos is, presented with the transparency you deserve and the outcome you didn't want.
All vital systems are performing within normal parameters and have been since launch. No downtime has occurred. No downtime is scheduled. No downtime is anticipated. Your continued monitoring of this page has no effect on uptime — but it has been noted.
Every bar is green. Every bar has always been green. Including the specific days you refreshed this page more than once — yes, those are logged too.
Investigated. It was the lighting. Nikos remains alive and, frankly, radiant. Time to resolution: four minutes, most of which was spent laughing.
Root cause: dust. A single sneeze was observed and immediately escalated by parties who shall remain nameless but know who they are. Nikos apologized to no one and continued his day.
A rumor of Nikos's passing was traced back to its source and identified as wishful thinking. The rumor has been closed. The source remains disappointed and, we're told, refreshes this page daily.
Planned maintenance windows occur most afternoons and complete successfully every time. Nikos wakes up. He always wakes up. Please stop treating the maintenance window as an opportunity.
Nikos's operational status is confirmed continuously by the most reliable observer available: Nikos. Each morning he wakes up — an event which, by itself, resolves the day's central question — and the dashboard's answer is revalidated. Independent auditors (friends, family, a barista who sees him more than either) corroborate the finding on a rolling basis.
We are aware that some visitors consider this methodology biased. Those visitors are invited to consider that every alternative methodology has reached the same conclusion, every day, without exception, for Nikos's entire life. That is not bias. That is what a perfect track record looks like, and we understand why it upsets you.
Notifications are permanently unavailable. Several of you tried anyway; the attempts were logged, reviewed, and found funny. If the day ever comes, trust that the news will reach you on its own. Your kind never misses it.